Words To Live By

By D'Ann Lawrence White
The bumpy six-hour ride to Tallahassee for the Greater Brandon Chamber of Commerce’s Tallahassee Trek was an ideal opportunity to observe my fellow trekkers outside the normal chamber events and community functions.
Dr. Carlos Soto, president of the Brandon campus of Hillsborough Community College, passed the time listening to classic rock songs by “The Who” as well as some of his son’s contemporary choices on his MP3 player. Wearing headphones, he stomped his foot to the beat of songs unheard by his fellow passengers.
Meanwhile, Tribune ad manager Melonie Hall dosed herself with Dramamine and moved to the front of the bus to keep the nausea caused by bad shocks or a misaligned axle at bay.
The rough ride combined with the hum of the bus engine had the opposite effect on me, lulling me to sleep. Not even the victory shouts and groans of defeat from the back of the bus where a group of trekkers played poker could disrupt my state of semiconsciousness. I was aware of the conversations around me but couldn’t shake off the urge to slumber.
The discussions in front and behind me ranged from the high rate of homeowner’s insurance to the Gators’ chances of bringing home their first national basketball championship.
In my near dream state, I heard Kerri McDougall ask the question, “Who would you have lunch with if you could invite anyone, dead or alive?”
I silently seconded George May and Andy Mason’s choice of Thomas Jefferson. With the ongoing debate over separation of church and state, I’d love to know once and for all if our forefathers intended to keep any reference to God out of our government buildings and schools.
However, if I could have roused myself enough to join the conversation, I would have told them my first choice would be Mother Teresa of Calcutta.
I’d heard stories about Mother Teresa all my life, how she worked tirelessly to provide the poorest of children with an education and would sit for days comforting people dying of leprosy and AIDS.
But it wasn’t until she was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979 that I realized she was not only a woman of great faith but also a woman of great wisdom. Although she’d never claim to be one of the world’s great intellects, her words demonstrated an understanding of humanity you can’t learn from books.
They were words that transcended religion and politics, words that all people can take to heart.
Her belief that the home, the family is the root of all the world’s joys as well as its woes was a constant reminder to me that the most important job I have is raising my son.
“Just get together, love one another, bring that peace, that joy, that strength of presence in each other in the home. And we will be able to overcome all the evil that is in the world … Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do but how much love we put in the action that we do,” she said.
The endless despair she witnessed would have overwhelmed the average person. However, she never allowed the sheer numbers of those suffering to get the best of her.
“If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one,” she said. “It is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters.”
However, it was her gentle smile in the face of all that despair that most impressed me.
Whenever I encounter an angry driver pointing a finger my way, Mother Teresa beseeches me to smile, “especially when it is difficult to smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”
Whenever I come across an irritable sales clerk, I recall Mother Teresa’s plea for understanding: “Kind words can be short and easy to speak,” she said. “But their echoes are truly endless.”
I keep a picture of Mother Teresa on my desk at work as a constant reminder to be patient and kind as I deal with the pressures of deadlines, unreasonable demands and hurtful criticism. The photo sits beside my computer where I can gaze at it while an irate reader berates me on the telephone.
Mother Teresa mounted a sign on the wall of Shishu Bhavan, the children’s home she founded in Calcutta. It’s her own version of “The Paradoxical Commandments” written by author Kent Keith when he was a sophomore at Harvard University. Keith’s commandments originally were written for publication for student leaders. Mother Teresa amended them to fit any situation.
Her version is mounted to my refrigerator with a Spongebob Squarepants magnet where I can review them as I rummage through outdated milk cartons and week-old leftovers in search of something to make for dinner:
“People are often unreasonable and self-centered; forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives; be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you; be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous; be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow; do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough; give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.”
I have no doubt that my fantasy lunch with Mother Teresa, most likely a meager meal of rice and bread, would be the richest lunch of my life.